Sweeney Blaine: The Demon Barber of Ohio
by RepriseOurRoles
Summary: I'm sure everyone knows of the infamous Klaine vore... Well, this is a bit of a continuation. Only Kurt is alive and it's not vore. Just know Sweeney Todd is Blaine's idol. Also Blaine eats people. This is pure crack.


And with a swift movement of his knife across the nameless man's throat another victim was taken at the hand of Sweeney Blaine.  
Blaine had been at this for a few years now, he was twenty, and he had his first taste of blood back in high school. Blaine used to be turned on by the thoughts of killing and torture, but slowly grew out of the lust stage of killing and cannibalism, but more into the stage where it was all for a head count, and still never getting caught. In fact when Blaine Anderson turned eighteen he legally had his name changed to Sweeney Blaine in honor of his idol Sweeney Todd.  
It was perfect.

As Blaine was taking a bite of his fresh new victim, savoring the success of the kill and the rawness of eating another human Blaine heard a bell ringing downstairs. Another customer.  
When Blaine reached the door he could not believe what he saw; Kurt Hummel – alive. How was that possible, though? Blaine knew he has killed Kurt. Kurt was the first person Blaine ever killed, and first or last Blaine remembers every face, especially the last one they make as they breathe their last breathe.  
"Blaine!" Kurt said in a cheery voice. And Kurt had a fondness in his face. A fondness that made Blaine even more curious.  
"Kurt… How are you still alive? I watched you die. I _ate_ you." Blaine could not think of anything else to say. Kurt Hummel – that literally delicious boy was standing right there in the waitng room of Blaine's barber shop, and looked just as alive he did the day Blaine killed him.  
"Blaine, what are you talking about? I was never killed… or eaten for that matter. _You _were the one who dropped off of the face of the earth once I transferred back to McKinley after they put Karofsky in jail for drunk driving. You don't remember any of that?"  
_How could this be? I knew I killed Kurt. I still have one of the bones to prove it. I ate him alive. I got pleasure as he struggled to his death. I remember every detail. His noises. The way the blood splattered. The taste of him. I remember it clear as the day. _

"Then who was that boy that I ate? Did the Warblers bring me a decoy?" Blaine's thoughts accidently came out spoken. Not all, but some did, that one line.  
"Blaine Anderson, what are you even talking about?"  
"Not Blaine Anderson. Sweeney. Sweeney Blaine."  
"Uh huh. And I thought I was the theatre obsessed one." Kurt was utterly confused. If he didn't know better he would have said Blaine actually thought he was Sweeney Todd.  
"It's not theatre that's driving me to do this… It's the quest for blood, but if you let a word of this leave this room then I will have to actually kill you." Blaine had a dark gleam in his eyes as he talked about the quest for blood or the thought of killing someone else, no matter what Kurt might have meant to him.  
"Okay, I am lost here, Blaine."  
"It's simple. I've become a cannibal and have taken to the lifestyle of my idol; Sweeney Todd. Well, minus the baking. I eat my victims raw."  
"Is this some prank? Where are the cameras, is Punk'd even still on TV? Is Finn behind it?"  
"No, Kurt. It isn't. This is my life, and if you don't approve, well," A sick and twisted grin grew on Blaine's face. "You're next."

Kurt stood there for just a moment in shock. All of his muscles tensed up, his pulse began to race, and he was sure his breathing got heavier too. Kurt came looking for Blaine out of curiosity. Blaine refused to talk to Kurt or even answer his texts after Kurt transferred from Dalton back to McKinley, and Kurt was back in Ohio after being in New York for college. He had nothing better to do really, so he decided to look up his first crush that was actually gay.  
"So, Kurt?" Blaine raised an eyebrow and moved closer to the taller brunette.  
"So what? Do you want me to become Mr. Kurt Lovett or something?" Kurt slowly moved away from Blaine, but Blaine kept following Kurt and wouldn't let him escape.  
"Well, not exactly Kurt Lovett, but would you like to join? Maybe you _could_ bake them into pies. Sell them online or something. I could make more money off of that rather than just stealing the deceased possessions."  
"Do I have any other choice?" Kurt said making a dramatic hand gesture.  
"I kill you." Blaine replied coldly.  
"I am leaving college to bake people into pies. This is a first." Kurt muttered to himself.

Things were actually pretty successful. Kurt Lovett's (Kurt changed his name just to make things more dramatic) meat pies website, was actually turning a profit after a year. However, Kurt found all the dealings with dead bodies disgusting, but thankfully Blaine handled most of that, and Kurt just put the meat into the pies and baked them. Kurt hadn't really contacted anyone from his old life since he began living this life a year ago, but that came with the lifestyle. Kurt never expected to see his dad, Carole, Mercedes, or even Finn ever again. It would just be him, Blaine, and the customers and victims.  
Then one day a bell rang in the lobby signaling a customer. Kurt rushed out of the kitchen and went to lead the person to their last hair cut ever. But Kurt stopped dead in his tracks when he saw who the soon to be victim was. Finn Hudson.  
"Kurt!" With only that as his warning Finn ran over to his step brother and picked the smaller boy up in a killer bear hug.  
"Finn!" Kurt squeaked. "What are you doing here? And put me down."  
Finn obeyed Kurt's orders and placed his step brother down. Kurt immediately began to smooth out his apron once he was returned to the ground.  
"Finn, why are you here. You look great; you don't need a haircut." Kurt was fine with Blaine killing whoever he wanted as long as they weren't Kurt's family. There was no way in the name of Gaga that Kurt would let Blaine lay a hand on Finn.  
"Actually, I came looking for you. I needed to ask you a big favor. See, I lost my job, and it would be kind of embarrassing to move back home, so I was wondering if I could crash with you and Blaine here for a while?" If it was anyone else Kurt would have vehemently said no, but this was Finn Hudson, his step brother, hell, they were practically blood brothers – or they at least acted it. Plus Finn was pulling his perfect pathetic grin; Finn had improved, so it was now impossible to deny him.  
"Fine, but you'll have to help me with the pies, and live in the bake house." Thank God Finn never watched Sweeney Todd.  
"I'm totally cool with that. Thanks, bro." And after another killer hug Finn rushed out to his car to get his bags.

"Hey, Kurt, uh, I need to talk to you." Kurt and Finn were in the kitchen like they would be on any day around this time.  
"Yes, Finn?" Kurt turned around from the pie he was making to look at his brother.  
"I think Blaine is up to something. No way is all of this meat beef, pork, chicken and stuff. I think I saw a blonde hair in one of them the other day. What animal has blonde hair?"  
Shit. Finn was catching on.  
"Oh, Finn that was probably from one of the customers and it flew into the kitchen or something."  
"Blaine gives me funny vibes… Like how could he afford that ring you're wearing? "  
Kurt glanced at the golden band that Blaine gave him for his twenty first birthday a few months ago.  
"Oh, this? It was a birthday present. Blaine said he bought it off of one of his customers."  
Finn took a closer look at Kurt's ring. It looked awful familiar, but Finn just couldn't put his finger on it. WAIT, it was his old boss' ring!  
"My boss had a ring just like that. It was his wedding ring I'm pretty sure."  
"Maybe that's who Blaine bought it from?" Kurt shrugged while trying to get Finn off of the subject.  
"Why would someone sell their wedding ring…"  
"I don't know. Let's drop this. I trust Blaine." _I have to_ Kurt added in the back of his mind.  
Finn just sighed and began to grind the meat again.

Blaine kind of cursed himself by naming himself Sweeney Blaine. Any person who knows just the music of the show knows how it ends. Almost all of them die.  
Like always the bell rang signaling a customer and Kurt rushed out to great them. Usually Kurt would feel pity for the victims or feel nothing at all, but this time when he saw who was about to meet an early death he was almost elated. David Karofsky was standing in the doorway.  
"Well, if it isn't my favorite fag. Hi, Kurt." Dave had actually started balding since high school, but other than that absolutely nothing had changed about him.  
"Still violently closeted I see, Dave. Well, I hope you are having fun in Narnia. Blaine is ready for you." Kurt almost wanted to follow Karofsky up the stairs and watch his death, but Kurt felt like following up the stairs might give Dave suspicions.

When Blaine greeted Karofsky upstairs there was a small gleam in his eyes. Never before since that first time he killed in high school would Blaine enjoy his work so much.  
"Sit down, good sir." Blaine said as he directed Karofsky to the chair that would seel his fate.  
"You're awful nice to me now... Not like high school."  
"Sir, I run a respected business. All petty fights are behind me now."  
"How about a shave first. Then a trim." Karofsky said while running his hand along the scruff on his chin.  
"The closest I ever gave." Blaine said to himself. Just like his idol Sweeney.  
"What was that?" Karofsky snapped his head around to Blaine.  
"Oh, nothing. I just said 'I'll give you a close shave."  
Karofsky just nodded.  
Blaine made sure that his razor was as sharpened as it could be; he grabbed a towel and a can of shaving cream, and headed over to Dave. Blaine prepared Dave's chin with the smallest amount of shaving cream he could, he wanted Dave Karofsky to feel _everything_. Dave represented all the wrongness in the world. All of the homophobes, all of those who bully, those who turned Blaine into the demon he became. Those who said 'no' and those who laughed at his face. Dave Karofsky was just a scared closeted man, but he had so much hate, and he was still a helpless cause. They all are. When Blaine was done with the preparation he wasted no time and began raking the razor across Dave's face, and when he tried to protest in pain and about the blood that was dripping from his face Blaine kept shaving. Blaine made Karofsky bleed and feel pain until he decided just to put him out of his misery and with a swift moment Blaine cut Karofsky's throat.

A sudden rush of joy came over Blaine. Oh God he had to tell Kurt. Blaine dashed down the stairs and headed to the kitchen. When he reached the kitchen Blaine came upon Kurt standing over an old man, Kurt was wielding a knife and repeatedly stabbing him. When Blaine moved closer he got a look at the face of the dead man… It was Blaine's father.  
"KURT!" Blaine shouted. He moved closer to his partner, but he wasn't able to look Kurt in the eyes. "Do you realize who you're killing? Remember out pact? Everyone is fair game… Everyone but family? Does our word mean nothing to you?" Blaine was now in Kurt's face, but still unable to look the taller man in the eyes.  
"Blaine! I didn't know! Oh, God, Blaine, I love you! I'm sorry! Blaine, please, don't! Blaine, I love you!" Kurt kept babbling words of love and regret, but Blaine kept pushing Kurt, and every time Blaine pushed Kurt Blaine would move closer still. Until finally Kurt was right in front of the open oven.  
"I'm sorry Kurt. No, wait. I'm not. You deserve death, just like the rest of them." Looking away from Kurt Blaine pushed him into the industrial oven, and with a truly terrifying and blood curling scream from Kurt Blaine shut the door.

Blaine found himself sobbing over the dead body of his father with his trusty razor in hand. Blaine glanced at the razor and back at his father and back to the razor again. Suddenly the lust for blood was gone. The need to kill. The need to keep living. All life was gone from Blaine yet he was still breathing. Not for long though.  
"You! I know what you've done!" Finn shouted. "You killed all those people. You killed Kurt! And you probably killed that man too!" Finn grabed the razor from the ground and shamelessly slit Blaine's throat. "That's for Kurt, and for all the others you've killed."  
Finn looked down upon the body of Blaine.  
_Holy crap. I just killed someone. How am I any better than him?_ Finn thought as he backed away from the blood in horror. Finn had nowhere to go. If her left he would surely be arrested, and if he stayed he'd be living in this horror. So Finn did what was now second nature to him and ran over to the meat grinder.  
"Three times through. That's the secret. Three times through." Finn repeated to himself over and over.

With another faithful cling of the bell Sam Evans rushed into the building with Quinn Fabray holding his hand.  
"We did it Sam!" Quinn cheered triumphantly. "We rescued you from Karofsky's prison of gay sex!"  
"Yeah, where's Kurt… we need to ask him if we can stay here."


End file.
